Nabiki's Heartache

A Ramna 1/2 Fanfiction by Ryo_Oki
"ryo_oki@pacbell.net"

Disclaimer: If I owned these characters would I be writing
fanfictions about them??


	A young girl with a pageboy hairstyle sat alone in her room
with a ledger across her lap. She was responsible for making sure the
family had enough money to survive on, even if she had to resort to very
creative methods of making said money.

	Truth be told the young girl was tired of it. She had sacrificed her
childhood to help her family and had gained nothing in return. She did not
mind this at first, but over time she had found herself becoming more and 
more distant from her friends and family. She was the "Ice Queen", someone
who cared only about money and using it to influence others.
	What a joke that was, she........

	"Nabiki, dinner will be ready in 30 minutes.", a voice said from behind 
her door, interupted her musings.

	"All right Kasumi, I'll be down when its ready.", Nabiki said.

	She tossed aside her ledger, her heart was not in it this evening.
It was focused on another subject entirely, or rather another person.

	"Ranma No Baka.. Come back here and taste what I made you.", the angry
voice of her sister Akane yelled from below.

	"Are you crazy tomboy? Are you trying to kill me?", Ranma said while 
dodging several thrown blunt objects.

	"Stop exaggerating Ranma, there is nothing wrong with my food", Akane
said, while holding a now melted though bowl.

	The food in question was presently crawling out of the yard on its own.
Ranma watched it go by. He didn't want to think of what would happen if he
ate whatever it was that just crawled by. Unfortunately, as he was watching
"food" in question he did not see a rather large mallet approaching his 
head weilded by his "loving" fiancee.

	Ranma went straight up through the roof and came down 2 minutes later
in a very familiar place.... The koi pond. A wet and now very female Ranma
came out of the pond cursing her luck, her fiancee, and life in general. He
made his way and poured the kettle of hot water, that Kasumi always had
ready, over his head.

	He decided to go up onto the roof of the dojo where he could pout, 
I mean think about what just happened.

	Nabiki was watching this through the cameras she had placed throughout
the house and yard. She sighed wondering what was wrong with her little
sister. One of these days she is going to push Ranma too far and then she will
end up as alone as.....

	Nabiki went to her desk by the window and pulled out a journal from a 
locked drawer. As she began to write her expression became sadder and sadder.
Several minutes later she had stopped to wipe a single tear from her face.
She looked at what she had written and was disgusted with herself. She ripped
the page from her journal and was just about to shred it when a gust of wind
from outside the open window ripped it from her hands and it flew outside.
She almost cried out. No one must find out what was written on that paper,
especially.....

	As she looked out the window she could find no trace of the paper though.
She hoped that no one she knew would find it.

	On the roof Ranma's pouting was interrupted when a piece of paper hit him 
in the face. As he first pulled it away he noticed it was written in 
Nabiki's handwriting. He knew he shouldn't read it. Nabiki was very private,
sometimes and he didn't want to invade her privacy. They were becoming very
close friends, along with Shampoo, especially given Akane's treatment of his
girl form. Why couldn't she be more like Nabiki.

	"Tuesday, March 5, 2001", the note began. "As I sit here and listen to 
Akane and Ranma begin to fight again I can't help but feel empty inside. Don't
they realize how lucky they are to have someone to be with, to share feelings
with, to talk to, that is if they ever get around to doing something other than
insulting each other. They do not know what it is like to be alone, to see
others walking together, talking and even holding hands togther.", the note 
continued.

	Ranma was surprised. Nabiki was lonely?? She never seemed that way or
ever talked about it. He went back to reading the note.

	"Even since mom died I have been alone, sometimes I think that I will 
always be alone. I will never find out what it is like to fall in love with
someone. Akane has Ranma, Kasumi has Doctor Tofu, even Ranma's fat, lazy
father has a someone who loves him. I have grown used to being alone, but it
still doesn't lessen the hurt."

	Ranma stopped reading the note as he felt his heart begin to sink into 
his stomache. He has beginning to feel sad and sorry for Nabiki. They had
grown closer as friends since the night of the prom, but it sounds like she
is looking for a boyfriend, not just a friend. He thought about his friends
and if anyone would be interested in Nabiki, but everyone seemed to be afraid
of her. No one wanted to take the chance of getting close to her for the
fear that she would reveal any secrets that the person may have had.
He looked back down at the note and continued reading.

	"There is someone with whom I love, but he could not return the fellings.
He is chased after by so many already, but they do not love him. They treat him
more as an object, a prize to be won or fought over. He used to hate me I know.
I treated him very poorly in the past, a decision I now regret with what is left 
of my heart. Many say my heart died long ago, and a piece of it did when mother
left us, but he has brought what is left alive again. He is a friend now,
something I have not had in a long time. I know it is selfish of me, but I want
more. I do not have much to offer him. I am not as pretty as some girls. I can 
be cold and uncaring, my cooking is slightly better than Akane's, and my
family is definitely not wealthy. Just seeing him smile warms me inside. Just
once I wish he would notice me as a woman. I would give anything just to walk
arm in arm with him, my head leaning on his shoulder. I could die happy if he
were to tell me that he loves me, for that would show that at least someone 
cares about me and the sacrifices I have made in my life.

	Ranma began to feel his throat tightened and his eyes to moisten. Nabiki 
almost sounded as sad he was when he thought Akane had died at Jusendo. How 
he was when she lived and how he was almost married to her. She seemed almost
in love with him after that, until she started hitting him again, making him
feel like he wasn't worthy of her love. Like something was wrong with him.....

	He wiped the now flowing tears from his eyes and from the paper and
continued to read it.

	"I see that he is sad at times. Shampoo tries to comfort him, and is
often quite bold about it. They are such close friends now. I wonder how he
views our friendship and if he ever thought about us being closer. I could not
be as obvious as her though. I lack her strength, so I must remain on the side,
in the shadows, hoping that someday he comes to realize how much I do love
him. I can not tell him how I feel, he might laugh at me, think that its part
of a silly joke. Others though would definitely laugh, or think that it is part
of some plan to benefit myself. I have seen friendships ruined. When one 
friend decides to tell another that they love them. I could not stand to be
rejected so. I would not want to live after that."

	"It sounds like, she is almost talking about.... No that is silly. Well 
there was the time she teased me in the furo, but that was just a joke right.
We love each other as friends right. To go too far... Would that ruin our
friendship?, and do I want more as well? I should finish off the note, if it 
turns out she is talking about someone else, he better come to his senses and
treat her right, she deserves it for all she's done for others. If she is 
talking about me..I....", Ranma let thought hang as he went back to reading
the last of the note.

	"I feel so tired at times. Some days I see no point in even waking up. I 
want to tell him how I feel so much it hurts, but I can not, so I will continue
to watch over him from the shadows, loving from afar and crying my self to sleep
at night. Perhaps I should get some sleep now..... NO I would only dream about
him, and the night we danced together at the prom. He held me so close, and 
treated me so kindly, eventhough we could here the whispers of others and what
they thought about us. How I stole a quick kiss on the porch that night. Sigh.
If only I could feel that way again, to be held by my pig-tailed prince...."

"Aishiteru Ranma."

	Ranma felt frozen. 

"She...she....feels that way about.....me?", he thought to himself as a smile
began to grow on his face.

"How did it happen?, and why do I suddenly feel all warm inside? I can't feel the
same way can I. She loves me and......Oh my god, she feels that I would laugh at 
her if she told me how she feels. She thinks that I may hate her. I never hated
her, even when I first found out about her selling those pictures of me. She 
wondered if she was as close a friend as Shampoo is. Nabiki, you are closer to 
me now than Kasumi and even....Akane!?!"

	He could feel the tightness in his throat again and feeling of his tears
as they moved down his face. He folded up the note and was about to leap off
to roof and to the bridge in the park where he could think without being
disturbed, when he heard soft cries from the room below from where he stood on
the roof. He crept over to the window ledge and looked in. Nabiki was on her bed
clutching a stuffed animal and crying... Ranma's heart dropped from his stomache 
all the way to his feet. He didn't have time to go to the park to think, he had
to do something now. 

	He entered her room through the window surpriseing her.

	"Get out!!......please.", she half yelled, half begged him.

	"Nabiki...I"

	"Damn it go away!! I dont want you to see my like this.", she said.

	"Nabiki, I know why you are upset.", he said.

	"What do you mean?", she said afraid of what he might say.

	Ranma pulled out the note from his pocket and gave it back to Nabiki.

	"No...No please not that.", she said while beginning to shake.

	"Nabiki, please it's all right. I admit it I did read what you wrote 
about me, but I am not mad, and could never hate you.", he said as he sat
down next to her and reached over to hold her.

	Nabiki was shocked. He didn't hate her. He was now holding her.. 
Did he... Could he...love.... No he was just being nice. Maybe he just
felt sorry for her. Poor Nabiki the lonely mercenary..

	Ranma noticed Nabiki wasn't getting any better. She even seemed a little 
worse. He wanted to comfort her, and he definitely liked holding her. He had
ever since they first began to practice for the prom. She felt so right in his
arms. He didn't want to let her go that night. He could still feel her lips
on his despite how brief the kiss was. 

	"I should tell her how the note made me feel.", he thought to himself.

	"Nabiki, When I first started to read the note I was surprised, I didn't
know how lonely you were. Nobody knows I think. As I read more and more I
became very sad. I didn't want you to feel such pain. It was breaking my heart, 
and when you couldn't live after being rejected I was scared. Yes I admit
it I was scared of you dying. I hadn't felt so much panic since Jusendo.
When you wrote that you loved me I felt all warm inside. I could imagine
myself being with you very easily.", Ranma said softly to Nabiki.

	"You want to be with me?, you don't hate or feel sorry for me?",
she said softly.

	"No I don't, I might even be falling in lo...lo..lov...love with 
you.", he studdered out.

	"If this is a dream I don't want to wake up.", she said to him as
began to wipe the tears from her eyes and uncurled herself from her
bed.

	"This is not a dream, and to prove it...",Ranma leaned over gave Nabiki 
a gentle kiss on the cheek.

	Nabiki blushed deeply and smiled at him.


	"But what about Shampoo, or even Akane?? Don't you love them?",
she said to Ranma.

	"Shampoo and I are very close. I don't need to tell you that, and although
I could fall in love with her, it is you I care most about, ever since I held
you in my arms, during the dance. It felt so right and I didn't ever want to
let you go. We seemed to grow closer as we worked at Cologne's together or
by practicing the art.

	As for Akane.......

"I loved her once with all my heart, but she never seems to return that
love. She only yells at me and hits me. I know that I say some dumb
or mean things at times, but I could never hurt her as she has hurt me.
Even if by some small miracle she does love me, she still doesn't trust me, 
and I can not be with a person like that.", he said rather sadly.

	Kasumi had finished dinner and was rounding up everyone when she 
remembered Ranma going up to the roof earlier. She set the ladder against a
wall of the house and began to climb up it. She froze as she saw Ranma in 
Nabiki's room holding her while she was crying. Did something happen to
Nabiki. She was about to say something when Ranma began to speak.

	"Nabiki, you said you loved me, and I am care a lot about you, I
know I am falling in love with you.", Ranma said.

	"Are you sure.", Nabiki asked.

	"Let me prove it to you.", Ranma said.

	Ranma began to lean toward Nabiki. As he got very close he put one hand
behind her head, pulled her close to him, looked into her eyes, smiled then
began to plant several soft kisses on her lips and neck. Nabiki was to stunned
to respond it first..

	"He loves me!?! He actually wants to be with me.", she thought.

	Nabiki began to return the kisses with a passion. The couple might have
been tempted to go farther, but they suddenly heard a voice almost yell out
"Oh My!!!!"

	Both fell off the bed and turned to see Kasumi stareing at them from the 
window.

	"Uh Oh.", quoteth Ranma..

	Oh #$%##$.",quoteth Nabiki.




Authors Note: This fic has changed since I originally envisioned it. It was
supposed to have been a one shot characted study of what a romance between
Ranma and Nabiki could be like, but as I was writing it for the first time
and as the reviews I received for it began to arrive by email I decided to 
expand it to a full length fic. I do not know How long the fic will
eventually end up, or how long it will take to finish. Part 2 is almost 
done and will be released with this modified version of part 1. Part 2
explains how Nabiki and Ranma first came to have feelings for each other,
but it will not be the start of the completed fic. You may have noticed that
Shampoo plays a large role in part 2 and is mentioned briefly in part 1. The
start of the complete fic will explain how they stopped being fiancees' and
started being friends. 

If you want to send me feedback you can send it to:

ryo_oki@pacbell.net