A Divine Daughter Part II: Ooh, That Mechanical Voodoo That You Do By: Targhan Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used. Both series are distributed in the U. S. By Viz-Video. "Ah My Goddess" manga is available from Dark Horse Comics, and Ranma manga through Viz. If you really like this stuff, support the real thing! This fic, and all fanfictions written by Targhan are done on an Amiga computer--ZombiOS: the living dead computer! "I am going to get into this story. Just you wait and see!" -- Urd. Introductory Notes: 1. This fanfiction will have Skuld appearing to be at a younger age, to facilitate this story Why? Two reasons, the first is obvious from this, the first installment. Second, because she can. Oh yeah, Skuld is not dating Ranma in this little work, or anyone else for that matter. 2. The author has shamelessly shoved a spoon into the Ranma 1/2 timeline; then, he stirred it up! Other notes of issue: Ranma's mother does not know about the curse yet, and she only gets to meet Ranko and her panda. On the Threshold: Thirty-one's was currently having a crisis in the Nerima district. That said shop had given out its allotment of "all you can eat" tickets to a fairly attractive young lady and her younger sister. While in itself this wasn't terrible, the fact that the two persons involved was Ranma and Skuld was a whole other matter entirely. The entire stock was gone, wiped out, kaput, devoured, and otherwise completely depleted. From this one incident, they received zero Yen and a lot of heartache. On the other side of the coin, the two patrons were extremely happy. They were even able to come to a mutual un- derstanding; that being, Ranma was to be Skuld's daddy. While Ranma was to receive divine intervention on every level of his life, he would have to help the one delivering the said help. It basically boiled down to the fact that Skuld would have to either become a girlfriend (not plausible), sister (not helpful), or daughter (bingo!). The end result was that Ranma was to be responsible for her wel- fare. Due to the Yggdrrsl system, the seed was planted in both (in accordance to the wish sub-routines) to create the appropriate feelings. Amazingly, this was all settled along with their cover story between the round trip to the aforementioned ice-cream joint. The final leg of the trip returned them from whence they came, the Tendo home. "Oh boy," began Ranma, "this is going to be a challenge like none so far." Tak- ing a deep breath, he opened the gates to the Tendo home. Shaking his head, he and his daughter walked into the chaotic maelstrom of home. Under normal circumstances, Ranma would be confronted with one angry indi- vidual after another. This time was different. Even after the speed training of the Ami- gourikan, he couldn't really tell what remark came from what source. Well, Kasumi's remark was notably hers. Other than the simple "Welcome home," the rest was an end- less mass of berating questions and accusations. "How could you do this?" "I knew he was a pervert, but this?" "What's the meaning of this?" "Worthless boy!" "How many bakas do we need under one roof?!!?" Blinking a few times, Ranma looked around the living room. Akane had an aura about her being, but was in a fuming state. His father was berating him. Soun looked somewhat between brokenhearted and angry. Nabiki was standing on the stairs, taking deep breaths; she looked as if she were waiting for some opportunity. Kasumi kept peeking into the room from the kitchen, and her smile was taking a turn for the south. For one of the few times in his life, he felt unsure of what to do. He felt the small child hanging onto his pant's leg, and knew that she was hiding behind him from protection. His brow furrowed; this room was full or martial artists, who supposedly staked their ex- istance on helping the weak. They, however, were being the aggressors. His indecisiveness was based on all of these factors, yet there were no outright physical threats. The situation was an accident waiting to happen; luckily, Kasumi helped things along, after peeking for the umpteenth time. Ranma continued to stare at the room's occupants, as Kasumi made her way to him and the girl under his care. Ranma also noticed that she seemed to give the others an occasional glance of dis- taste. The whole thing was almost like slow motion: the multifarious jerks in the living room, Kasumi on her way, Nabiki on the stairs. At the tail end of all of this, Kasumi sim- ply asked Ranma if she could take the little one into the kitchen with her--just in case. Ranma was quick to agree with Kasumi, as he felt for sure that someone was go- ing to end up getting a pounding. Ranma watched as nobody paid any attention to Skuld or Kasumi, and nobody noticed the bewildered look that Skuld as she listened to Kasumi's reassurances. Ranma did take note that when Skuld was out of the room, Nabiki made her move. Sooner or later, he was going to ask her about the way she seemed to have a plan for everything. Ranma could almost swear that the girl had a plan developed for an alien invasion, let alone anything he could get himself into. That aside, he paid close attention to what she was doing. She was taking each member of the household aside and chastising them individually. For the first time in his life, he really was speechless. No, not frozen up, like when he was the subject of a glomp. He was just speechless. Due partly to his own confusion, and partly to the fact that he was flabbergasted. They were treating this innocent child like she was some sort of fiance or something. He couldn't understand anyone's motives, save for Kasumi. The room full of emotional people were acting cold and heartless because of a little girl, for crying out loud. Except Nabiki, the one who was supposed to be cold and heartless. She was like some angel of fury; doing the things he could not do--the things he was never really prepared for. Even after he discussed things with his daughter, he just wasn't emotionally prepared for this kind of fight. Ranma finally just sat down, saying, "Damn it." --- After waiting for the child to be removed from the room, Nabiki made her move. She was not about to let this get out of control. The kid was going to be here, and she needn't be berated for it. Then, she was going to let Saotome have it for bringing her into this mess. As the moment presented itself, Nabiki hastened down the stairs. From the stairs, she took each one in turn, and let them have a piece of her mind. Hopefully, she could be callous enough to get the situation under control. At least, long enough to fig- ure out what should be done about it altogether. The first person to meet the wrath of Nabiki was, no other than, her father. "Father," she bellowed. The rest of the room's occupants seemed to die to a mumble at her outburst. Before Soun could turn completely towards her, she began, "How dare you do this father? Are you so stupid as not to realize that you could be kill- ing the agreement between our clans yourself? Who is Ranma going to accept as his true fiance? She certainly will not be the one who turns from his daughter!" As her fa- ther began to wail, she moved to the next target. She grabbed Akane's attention by the most simple method possible. Nabiki slapped her. Ignoring Akane's protests of "Hey! Why'de you hit me? This is all that jerks fault," she began a barrage. "Akane what do you want from Ranma? No, don't tell me. You're going to chase him away because he has a heart. That's it, isn't it? Don't be an imbecile little sister! Don't be jealous because Skuld--that's her name by the way--is going to need a mamma; don't you think?" Nabiki began to move to Genma, and she heard Akane mumble something. A something very far from nice. She could have sworn that Akane said, "Poor kid. Ranma is going to turn her into a freak just like himself." Nabiki didn't wait to find out if Ranma heard it, that bit pissed her right off. Nabiki turned around, slapped Akane a second time, and said, "Grow up." Nabiki smirked; since, Akane ran to her room on that one. "Works every time," she said to herself. Next, she caught Genma trying to make his way out of the house. Nabiki just fol- lowed him to the door, and said, "Go ahead, run from your family. Just run away from your own grandchild." Closing the door, she finished, "Because, you wouldn't run away from lil' ole' me, would you." Finally, she had chased everyone from the room. Now, she could have sworn that she had just heard a "damn it" from somewhere. Ahh, yes. Ranma. Ranma prob- ably assumed that they just 'knew' that it was his daughter. Grinning inwardly, she fig- ured they all, specifically Akane, thought the girl was a fiance. Well, maybe Kasumi as- sumed correctly this time. She figured that she might as well get it started. --- Ranma was snapped out of his revere by a hand on his shoulder. Looking up from the freshly emptied room, he saw Nabiki's lopsided grin. "Care to talk about this, Ranma?" "I. I dunno what to say." "I found the paperwork on the table, Saotome. You know, I'm the only one in the house with a level head right now. It really would be in your best interest. I'm not even going to charge you for my help concerning your daughter. This one is free. Now, start talk- ing." "I found her by a dumpster on my way past the hospital towards that Chinese place in town. She asked me to check on her mom. When I did, the lady was about to die. She begged me to take care of her little girl. She asked me to be Skuld's daddy, since they had no other family. The doctors weren't to happy 'bout it, but wasn't going to refuse her request. They said something about some stipulations, and I signed some kinda' paperwork. The woman died almost immediately after that. It was freaky, I tell 'ya. We gotta' go to her funeral day-after-tomorrow. I hope Skuld will hold up, I aint' no good at that mushy crap." "You'll get good at it. Saotome, you'll have too. Oh, you better take good care of her. Ranma, from what I saw, she trusts you completely. She's gonna look to you for every- thing, but I'll help wherever I can." "Thanks Nabiki. Uhm, I really don't know what to do, and with this curse..." "Send her up to me later; I'll explain the curse." "Nabiki, she knows about it. She's a lot smarter than most kids. I meant how am I gonna' keep other kids from pickin' at her 'n stuff?" "Send her up later, anyway. If she's that smart, maybe she kind find something I can't. Just kidding Ranma, but I do want to talk to her about it. Now, you go talk to dad and Kasumi. I'll straighten your fiance out. Well, after I wash my mouth out with soap." "Huh?" "I used the 'F' word." "Huhhh?!!?" "Free, Ranma. Aaargh, I said it again. Look, just make sure that Daddy knows the girl is your legal daughter. Now, shoo." --- Kasumi was amazed at how cheerful the smaller girl was, even just helping to make tea. As they were making tea, she learned that Skuld was apparently Ranma's daughter, and that wasn't so bad. She was such a nice sweet young girl. She absently wondered aloud how it came to be, and then listened to Skuld's tale. She knew that Ranma was a secret softy, but this was just so amazing! She had long since determined that Ranma was a nice boy, but this act was really impressive. She marvelled at the tale; learning how this poor girl lost her mother. Kasumi was al- most in tears herself; when, she realized at how much this little one loved her 'daddy.' The commotion outside the kitchen sounded like it was beginning to heat up, and she could hear the "shhhhh" sound of her father's deflating demon-head. Leaning down, Kasumi hugged the young black haired girl. She then tried to re- assure her, "Don't worry, Ranma will be a fine daddy! You'll see, and, when everyone realizes that your aren't a fiancé, we'll all be a big happy family!" Kasumi had her heart warmed as she heard little Skuld say, "Oh really! Thank you, auntie-Kasumi!" Then she heard her father walk into the kitchen. She could feel his sullenness, and decided to brighten him up with the news. "Oh, Daddy! Isn't it wonderful," she exclaimed in her cheeriest voice. "Skuld is Ranma's adopted daughter! So, you'll be a grandfather really soon!" Kasumi smiled at Skuld, and was curious to what she was thinking. Kasumi would have fainted if she knew the truth. Skuld, while still hugging Kasumi, just won- dered how it was possible for Kasumi to sound just like her big sister. Well, Ranma said that she was angelic, so maybe that's why! Soun didn't answer. His brain was overloaded, and he just muttered, "Grandfather, I'm a grandfather?" Then, he gave his eldest daughter a shock by pass- ing out with the day's paper landing squarely over his face. "Oh my!" --- Later that evening, Nabiki was finishing up her diary entry. As she curled into bed, she wondered why she still did something so childish, and drifted off into a slum- ber. Not a completely restful slumber, as she was woken up on occasion to hear Ranma screaming at his father, "Move over Pops! Do you want to squash Skuld? Stu- pid Panda." --- Dear Diary: Good grief, it's been another day of surprises thanks to Saotome, again. I'm al- most tired of writing about what that master of the mayhem-arts does; I mean he is my *SISTER'S* fiance. Today, he brought home an adopted daughter. Yes, Mr. Super-Ego managed to complicate his life further. Naturally, there was a big explosive confrontation about this, and, of course, everyone thought it was another fiance. It took some doing, but I think everyone in the house is going to accept it. Akane is holding a big grudge over it; even though, she brings in a stray pig expecting everyone to like it. I wonder how his other fiances, and the rest of the wrecking crew, will react? If things go like they normally do, Shampoo and the Amazons will find out first. Ukyou is off on some cooking competition in another district, so we won't have to deal with her for a little while. Yes, diary, I said 'we.' Skuld is part of our family now, just like the rest of the Saotome's are. Oh yeah, I didn't mention that Ranma has six months to get mar- ried, did I? Well, I haven't told him yet either, so it's our secret--for now. Oh, diary, there was a couple of other items of note. The first is that Ranma's daughter came with a bank account. It's enough to cover her mother's funeral, some clothes for her and Ranma, and enough left over to help with the bills. Let me rephrase that, a lot of Yen will be left over to help with the house. This means, I finally get to take a little bit of a break. Ya'ay! I can get us bye on just the regular betting pools for a while. The other thing of note? I'm glad you asked. The heavens above must be watching, because Ranma's mom called before coming over. She'll be here tomorrow. Luckily, we had enough time to explain to Skuld how to act around Ranma's mother. She took it a little too well; because, she kept calling Ranma 'Ranko' and chasing him around with a water gun. Doesn't sound funny? Well, I should have mentioned that she rode on Genma-panda's back the entire time. I just wonder why daddy said, "A martial artist's life is fraught with peril," every time they passed by him? Anyway, I should try to get some sleep before Skuld decides on another round of hugs. Oh, and thank all of the Kami's that tomorrow is Sunday, we're gonna need a plan to get Skuld into school without World War III breaking out. -Nabiki --- Somewhere Else: Urd was livid! Somehow, the love octagon from the fiery depths of hell had been assigned to her little sister! She would not stand for it! Then again, she did just happen to find the mystical bottomless keg of ale; bah, the keg was more important. Anything of the magnitude of bottomless, particularly involving good liquor, had to be fully investi- gated prior to any other possible obligations. --- Early Morning Tendo Home: Humming cheerfully to herself, Kasumi was busy making breakfast. She was even more giddy than usual, as she had a new guest to feed. In fact, that house guest was up early too. She thought to herself that Skuld must like getting up early to play with her new Daddy and Granddaddy. It was just so cute! The little girl had some sort of toy hammer, and was running about smashing at invisible bugs. This was great! She just knew that Skuld was having a great time. For her part, Skuld was exasperated. She didn't mind getting up in the morning, but this hour was not to her liking in the least little bit. Further, the way in which she was awoken left a lot to be desired. Granpa-baka doused water on her and Daddy to do some sort of training. Did she get to go back to sleep afterwards? No! Things went from bad to worse, as she noted the profusion of bugs in the house. If the number of them wasn't disturbing enough, the fact that they each seemed to have a target was just plain unnerving. Due to this, she had to have some "Bug-Beater" sent down.¹ She had to wonder what Auntie-Kasumi thought of her, as she began to run around spraying an invisible can at invisible targets. Darn it! She was supposed to try to fit in! The morning sparring session had went well for Ranma; he managed to knock the old man into the pond in such a way that allowed him to get into the house without the retribution. Thus, he decided that this would be a great opportunity to get into the furo first. Quickly, he rushed to the bathroom; in hopes, that he could get there before his father did. When he reached the bathroom, he had another surprise altogether. Akane was on her way out of the restroom. Although he was used to the morning hub-bub, he still didn't like being yelled at every time he came near a bathroom. Ya' know, it just isn't right. A guy goes to the throne-room, and gets handed his butt on a platter. (Far be it from Ranma, to realize that he nearly clobbered Akane on her way out. Nope, he never noticed it.) He was greeted with a very friendly comment from his iinzuke, "Hey! Watch where you're going, you jerk!" Ranma's unique ability around women (yeah, right) allowed him to see that Akane was displeased; however, his same ability (again: yeah, right) missed the fact that his fiance hadn't accepted Skuld yet. Nope, he couldn't fathom why Akane would need more than eighteen or so hours to accept it. In this way, he also missed that she would be just so easy to tick off; an argument ensued. Somewhere between all of the name calling, Skuld had more than she could stand of it. She hadn't ever seen any two people fight this much, save for Urd and Ke- ichii. Yet, Urd and Keichii wasn't engaged. This kinda stuff just gave her headaches. All of this introspection is one thing, but when that Akane pulled out a mallet she had seen enough. Within a blink of an eye, Skuld's own hammer hit home--right on Akane's forehead. The blow didn't have much force to it. The amount of force used wouldn't hurt any of the Nerima residents or their additional visitors. In the end, the desired effect was achieved. Akane's hammer returned to the place from which it came. --- "Ranma, why didn't you stop her?" "Hey, how was I supposed to know that.. Heh heh. Hehehe, hahahahahaha" "Grrr. What are you laughing at, Baka!" "Baka. Baka. Bahhhh-kaaaaAhahahhahhaaa!" --- Akane looked at the jerk in front of her, then to his new daughter, then back at him. Did it leave a mark? How could such a light blow have left a mark? The question was answered as Nabiki came down the hall, "Hey, Akane. What's that on your fore- head? Huh?" Without wasting a second, Akane ducked back into the bathroom. There, she saw kanji on her forehead that read, "Baka." Needless to say, when she came out of the bathroom her arms were aligned straight down her side, and she was burning mad. That is when a very, very, very bad thing happened. It wasn't that she heard her sister laughing; nope, Nabiki could be ignored. It was that, that, that Jerk! She actually heard him scolding Skuld. Was he scolding her for being mean to his fiance? NO! He was telling Skuld that she should have used the words "Sexless Tomboy!" Then, the whole neighborhood heard the bloodcurdling scream, "Rrraaaaaaaaannnnnnnmmaaaaaaaaa Noooooooo BaaaaaaaaaKaaaaa!" Baths and morning rituals forgotten, Ranma grabbed Skuld to get her out of harm's way, and ran down the stairs. While, Nabiki simply stepped back into her room; saying, "Way to go Saotome. Dork." This left Akane to slow the spinning motion of her hammer. Her only thought was, "This isn't over, Ranma." If her thoughts were vocal, the words would have dripped with venom. At the breakfast table, things were a bit quieter. The kanji was no longer on Akane's forehead (whether by scrubbing, scraping, or magic no one was really sure). Ranma made sure he sat on Akane's side of Skuld for obvious reasons, and Kasumi was as chipper as ever. The fathers took note of the tension in the air, and ignored it completely. Chaos ensued. The family broke out into their battle zones, including Ka- sumi; she prepared tea. It would be difficult for anyone to follow any individual state- ments, as the kitchen sounded more like a school lunchroom with good acoustics. The war of words was over with Akane leaving the house via the front door. Opening the door, she bellowed, "I hate you, Ranma, and that daughter of your's too. I'm going to a friends house, and when I get back someone else had better volunteer to be your fiance. Because, I'm through with you. I hate... Oh, uhm. Hi Auntie-Nodoka. I was just leaving, bye!" "Young lady, you wait right there! What do you mean you hate my son? Why are you calling off the engagement? What do you mean that he has a daughter? Is he here, and what was that splashing sound? Hey! Come back! It's not proper to run away when your elder is talking, Akaneeeeeee," this was utterly confusing to Nodoka. She just didn't understand one bit of this; it wasn't right. She was angry that something like this was happening, but didn't know who to direct it at. Was her son at fault, or was Akane the bad apple? Then, it could be just a lover's quarrel. The whole train of that thought was completely derailed as one word sank in, "Daughter." Her son must be VERY MANLY indeed to have sired her a grandchild at such an early age! Stepping the rest of the way into the house, she noticed something was out of place. Ranko and the panda were standing by the door, visibly shaken. Tendo-san looked as if he needed a valume really bad, and Kasumi was smiling with a tea tray. Oh, and the middle Tendo daughter was standing in a corner holding a bucket with one hand, and had the other one covering her face. Blinking a few times, she asked, "What just happened here, and where is my son and husband?" She almost missed the little black-haired girl crying into the side of Ranko. After her second look, she zipped past all of the excuses being shot at her to Ranko and the little girl. Nodoka had been expecting a newborn, or at least a baby, but the young girl was the only one she hadn't met before. Nodoka noticed the room go silent as she pried the girl out of Ranko's hands; ahh, that must be a sign. She asked on question to the little girl, "Are you Ranma's daughter?" Suddenly the whole house grew silent out of antici- pation. Nerves were already frayed, and another argument was expected. At this point, Genma even had the [I'm just an innocent panda] sign at the ready. When the little girl nodded an affirmative, Nodoka's eyes grew wide--really wide. Her eyes were almost the size of a softball, and her facial features turned from a con- cern to an almost weepy expression. Then, she suddenly had Skuld in a bear hug, and squealed, "YOU ARE SO CUTE!" Nodoka could almost hear everyone blink-blinking, as she babbled with the little girl about how cute she was. The rest of the room picked up bits and pieces of the baby-talk, as they stared in shock. They heard things like, "Wot's my gwanbaby's name, hmm," and "We can do shoppin' togetha' and all kinda fun stuff!" A rather large sweatdrop appeared on Soun's forehead, as he realized just how much coddling the boy would have had to endure, and Genma passed out. The room's occupants snapped back to life when the discussion turned to a more realistic scene. Nodoka, with one arm around Skuld and the other on the katana, began speaking, and not a soul spoke without being spoken to. --- "Little one, who made you cry?" "Akane did." "Why is that?" "She was mean to Daddy and me. Daddy got so mad that he left." "Do you know where he went?" "Daddy went to play roof-hopping, and Granddaddy went to chase him." "I, uh, see. That sounds like something that my husband would teach Ranma." "It wasn't fair; I told her to stop being mean to Daddy, and she wouldn't" "What did she do that was so mean, hmm?" "She said that she didn't want to be Daddy's fiance anymore, and that she didn't like me." On the sidelines of this exchange, Ranma paled. "Was there anything else?" "Uh-huh! She said that another Tendo should be the one." "Ranko, dear, is this true?" "Uhhm, yes." "What was that dear?" "Yes, it's true." "I see. Didn't you say that Ranma was manly, Ranko?" "Yes. He is the best! Ranma is awesome!" "So you really like Ranma, huh?" "Very much Auntie Nodoka, but what has.." "Tendo-san" "Yes, Mrs. Saotome?" "I would like you to ask your sister or brother if Ranko could satisfy family honor on Akane's behalf." "But.. But.. But... But... " --- At this point, Nodoka looked at Skuld, and winked. Then she announced to the room, before the explosive nature could wreak havoc on her idea, that she would be back later that evening. Also, she mentioned, since her son and husband were in town; she would very much like to see them when she returns. When she walked out of the house, she left an incredibly confused household in her wake. --- After Nodoka Left: Ranma was left alone to deal with the wrath of the two patriarchs, as each of the others had important things to take care of. Kasumi had to clean the kitchen, which was in terrible shape. Nabiki informed Ranma that she was going to work on Skuld's paper- work for enrollment in Nerima-Elementary; somehow, nobody questioned why Nabiki kept that sort of paperwork in her room. Finally, Skuld said that she had a surprise that she was working on in the dojo, and she disappeared. Ranma's hand found it's way to his pony tail, and he stated, "Eh-eheheheh, oops." Nabiki silently cursed, as she pinged away at her typewriter. She really wanted to get a small computer, but her family's budget wouldn't allow for it. Her grumblings would occasionally increase as the screams of "How could you" or "Stupid old-man," reverberated off the walls of the house. She was determined to finish, but the sounds of the periodic power tool and hammer started to replace those of the angry males. This continued until she no longer heard anyone screaming, but the sounds of machine work was almost all encompassing. "What is that NOISE?!!?" --- After the argument was finished (with no results, naturally), Ranma found his way to the roof of the Tendo home. There, he meditated to the rhythmical beat of whatever his daughter was doing in the dojo. He knew when Akane arrived, since she made a production of slamming her door. The hours drone on, as he thought about what to do about his curse, his daughter, his fiance's, and in general his life. "Man, Skuld is nice, but wishes STILL suck." Even with the events of the last day, Ranma was still Ranma. In other words, meditation and self-reflection turned to snoozing. To the casual onlooker, the sight would have been a little strange. People just don't sleep balancing on their head. They don't do it on the roof of a house. They don't do it in the middle of the day. They don't do it in Nerima. They just don't do it. As the afternoon wore on, Skuld decided that she had finished "The Curse Re- mover." This invention would not only cure Ranma of his curse, but would get rid off all of the guys trying to chase his cursed form. Her Daddy would be SO happy! Not every- one had a genius goddess for a daughter! All to do now was to call for him, "Daddy! Daddy! Come see what I made for you!" Kasumi imagined that Skuld had made some sort of cute origami for Ranma, or maybe she was talented enough to make a basket! Soun and Genma were involved with a game of shogi, hoping for some waterproof soap to appear. Nabiki took it as a cue to finish up her other business ventures, so she could see what all of that noise was about. Ranma sleepily looked in the direction of the voice; then, lost his balance, and fell. To be more precise, he fell over. Then, he slid to the edge of the house. After a bit of cursing himself, Ranma went to check on Skuld. The sight in the dojo frightened him; although, he would never admit to it. His eyes darted back and forth, scanning the mass of metal in front of him. "What is all of this, Skuld," he asked. Beaming proudly, Skuld replied, "Why it's the Curse-Remover! It's going to cure you of that turning into a girl problem! Ranma? Daddy? Hey!" She was slightly taken back at her adopted father's speed, yet she was pleasantly surprised at just how quickly he jumped into the chair. No one took to one of her inventions THAT quick before! Ranma spoke really fast, as he inquired about how soon they could start. He also babbled all about how great this was. While they were both babbling at each other about pride and cures, a bug found it's way in the door. The bug was a very happy bug. The bug looked strange with its circlet emblem on its forehead. The bug munched on a wire near the door. This was the definition of a happy bug; it had located the heavenly equivalent of Cat-5, and was having a feast. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Unknown to the goddesses, the various cables used in heavenly systems had different flavors. Also, each bug had his, or her, favorite. There were power cables, communications cables, magic cables, and a whole host of others. Now, each cable has a flavor associated with its job. Every now and then, some cables carry signals and power. These cables, above all others, were a delicacy! Urd smiled evilly as she real- ized that the author had managed to get completely off track. Her grin widened as she began her long monologue, "Yes! Muhahahah, urk...." --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Suddenly, the bug eep'ed, then jumped to the side. The universe stopped at a temporarily new focal point: The Tendo Dojo. Ranma was seated in a chair within the said dojo; his head strapped into some contraption with various colored lights. Skuld was pulling a knife-edge switch down into the "on" position, and time almost seemed to stop. Nabiki's foot went directly between the frayed edges of the wire with the missing chung; what's worse, is that it was the exact moment the switch reached the on position. Time came sped back to its normal pace, as there was crackling, popping, and explosive sounds. Smoke rose from various places of the "Curse Remover." Nabiki lit up like a Christmas tree, and quaked violently. Smoke was rising from several places, like Ranma's head. Speaking of Ranma, the pupils of his eyes moved back and forth independently. Skuld blinked several times, and looked back and forth. In her professional judg- ment, this was not good. Grabbing the pitcher of water, she said, "Well, let's see how it worked!" She then proceeded to dump its contents over Ranma's head. Ranma came back to reality, as the cold liquid contacted his body. He looked at his hands and his chest. His chest was still of the male variety. Male. He was still male. He was doused with cold water and he was still a he! Ranma bounced up and down; then, asked to be hit with more water! Skuld was more than happy to comply, as it wasn't every day that someone WANTED to be splashed with water. She was prepared too; since, she knew how the curse worked. Skuld had stocked up on various bowls, buckets, and cups containing hot and cold water. She was so proud! The happiness that her Daddy exhibited was warming her heart! That's when she noticed that something wasn't quite right. Ranma was still dancing around happily, while being splashed with water of dif- fering temperatures. Then, he stopped, and allowed his eyes to follow his daughter's gaze. HE was hit with cold water, and NABIKI turned into a slightly shorter redhead. Then, Ranma was hit with warm water; thus, the redhead disappeared--replaced by Nabiki. Skuld continued to barrage Ranma with water, and watching Nabiki. Nabiki finally had enough of the stares, "Why are you guys looking at me?" Then her voice shifted to the one she reserved for demeaning others, "Am I supposed to be impressed with the fact that Ranma's curse is cured? Well, I'm impressed. Why are you still looking at me?" She became even more irritated when Ranma began to point at her, and Skuld began apologizing. She looked down, and realized that she had slightly more chest than before. Her eyes went wide, and she screamed, "Aaaaaaaaaah!" --- BEGIN NOTES --- ¹Bug-Beater is a joke that references to http://www.datadocktorn.nu/ . If you have a color printer and an aerosol can, you can make your own can of Bug-Beater. The au- thor suggests using an air-can, as you wouldn't want someone spraying your computer with Lysol! --- NEXT TIME --- Ranma is only half cured? Now when Ranma is splashed with cold water, Nabiki becomes Ranko! Don't worry! Hot water will reverse Nabiki's condition--when applied to Ranma. What is going to happen when Ranma's mother returns? More importantly, what will Nabiki do about this new curse? Be here next time for, "A spur in the side: Nabiki's Revenge" Revenge has never been so fun!